I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
- I'm Movin' On, Rascal Flatts
The time has come to move on. When I moved to Laramie, I never expected to stay here forever. I planned to come so that I could watch my children grow up, and when they were adults, I would move on. I had always planned to move to Boise, Idaho, where my best friend Jenny lived. I thought that's what I would do right up until last year when she got married and moved to the San Fransisco, California area. I am still welcome there, but after some research I'm just not interested in California, though her daily photos of the beauty and sea life do have me jealous.
Since I have been in Laramie, I have had four people that meant a lot to me pass away, and I was unable to afford to go back to Virginia for their services. Thankfully, I visited my Great Aunt Margaret and Granny Jane my last trip back to Virginia, right before each of them took a downturn in their health. As I get older, so do all my loved ones, and I don't want to miss any more time with those I love.
I came out here for a reason. I got to spend a year living with Briony and seeing Cale one to two times a week for family dinners. After Briony left, Cale was cut off from my life by his father, and I have stayed hoping that as he got older he would go against whatever he was told and want to see me again. I will never fault Cale for doing what his father told him, or for choosing his father over me. There has been a lot of guilt put on Briony for "choosing" me over her real, blood family. I never asked her to make a choice. In fact, I desperately wanted her father to want her in his life after she moved in with me. In the same way that Cale came over regularly, I would have loved for her to be invited to their house regularly, but that was not what happened and that cannot be changed now. I would never want Cale to chose me over anyone, I only wish he would chosen to have me as a part of his life.
I have stayed until Cale has been of legal age for over a year. I remain hopeful that one day, whether in the near future or many years from now, he will want to rekindle our relationship. I will never stop being his mother, and never stop loving him and missing him. I think of him every single day and nothing will ever change that. But I cannot stay here for the hope of him contacting me.
Wyoming has been good to me. I have worked for four and a half years at the best veterinary clinic in town, first Snowy Range under Christa, and now at Gem City (they bought Snowy Range last Sept) under Crystal and Jacque. I have been taken care of financially by this job and have cared for some amazing pets. I cried as I said goodbye to my favourite cats, Gabby, and his wonderful mother invited me to visit her in Texas (she winters there, and is hoping to get there full time soon). I have met some amazing people that I will be friends with long after this. Tia, April, Maria, Christa, and Amanda have been there for me through thick and thin. Baend and Janel, I'm so glad I know Tia so I can also count you as friends. And my new Gem City co-workers and friends, it has been a pleasure working with you.
I am going to miss so many people when I go. But thankfully, through social media and texting, I will be able to keep in touch with these wonderful people who have become my family away from home.
I am grateful that I was able to see so many things out here: Mount Rushmore, the geographic center of the US, the actual center of Wyoming, the Tetons, Yellowstone, and Devils Tower. I was kissed by a wolf! I have had a good four years, but I am ready to go back to Virgina, to the Blue Ridge Mountains, I have forgotten what it's like to experience FALL! I want to put my feet in the ocean again. There are things and people that I will miss when I leave, but what I will be gaining is what my heart needs right now.
So thank you, Wyoming, for showing me your wonders. I am a better person for having come here, but it's time to go HOME.
I will let everyone know when I am back in the Commonwealth.
